I Am Learning the Secret

by Jill St. John

“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” 
​Philippians 4:11-12 NIV.​

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​Dictionary.com defines contentment as “satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.”¹  And truly, isn’t Jesus the Contentment-Satisfier-in-Chief? He absolutely is! Yet, I sometimes find myself feeling less than satisfied. I find myself struggling with being content, not so much materially, but relationally.

As Summer is upon us and I am traveling through the Mother's and Father's Day seasons, I am really missing my Mom and Dad. I miss searching for just the right cards and adding sentiments of love and appreciation. I miss hearing their voices and their stories. I miss their hugs and laughs. In my growing-up years in the Black Hills of South Dakota, at the request of my outdoor-picnic-loving Mom, our family’s Mother’s Day tradition was to celebrate with an Iron-Man Picnic. It earned that name because in mid-May, the Black Hills can still see snowfall and daytime high temperatures in the 40s. Many of those Mom’s Day picnics were freezing cold–even for the “iron men” and women of our family! 

Our Father’s Day tradition was homemade ice cream. How I loved it when Dad made that treat! I have carried on that tradition with my husband and children. Old-fashioned vanilla ice cream made from scratch is a pure wonder: cream and sugar spinning in the wood-sided, hand-cranked, ice cream maker, surrounded by ice melted with rock salt. There is not a better creamy, cold bite! I miss turning that old crank and eating ice cream with my Dad. 

I am also in a learning curve as my husband and I navigate this season of parenting our adulting kids who live hundreds of miles away. It is a whole new world of holidays without them and no summer vacation time with them. It is a hard adjustment after their entire twenty-some years of life in our home, enjoying millions of moments full of meals, games, performances, laughs, trips, sports, movies, prayers, hikes, talks, milestones, and special memories made together. 

It is hard to not compare my life with my friends who still have both parents living. It is hard to not feel a little envious of my friends who have adult kids who live close by, and they see them regularly. The Lord is teaching me that a powerful part of the secret is that it is impossible to be content if I am comparing. He also whispers the secret of choosing to be happy about what I do have and not resentful or sad or fixated on what I do not have. It is easier said than done, and I am learning. 

As I have poured out my heartache to the Lord about missing my parents, I am so thankful for His comfort. The Holy Spirit speaks and soothes. I have felt God lovingly invite me to give up unfulfilled expectations and bitterness. Instead of focusing on what and whom I am missing, Jesus gently calls me to learn the secret: being grateful for what, and whom, I do have. He calls me out of the pity party and into the celebration of praising Him for all of the many blessings in my life. He calls me out of resentment and into rejoicing in the incredible people I do have. 

When I am feeling discontent, I am learning that the secret to flipping the switch to contentment is to start rehearsing what and whom I do have. Jesus saved me, and that is enough. Jesus loves me, and that is enough. Jesus is preparing a place in Glory for me, and that is enough. And on top of those amazing, divine, miraculous, eternal blessings, He has given me a devoted husband, fabulous children (two of our own and two by marriage), wonderful extended family, and a fantastic church family. Jesus has healed me and is growing His glorious Kingdom all around, in, and through me.  

During the spring season that celebrated Easter and Passover, I was reminded of the little song that I learned while living with a Jewish family as their nanny. It is Dayenu. That Hebrew term means: It would have been enough. It is referring to all the miracles of God as He brought the Israelites out of Egypt and saw them through the wilderness for forty years. The song declares over and over that just one of those miracles would have been enough. 

That really is the secret of being content: realizing that God loving and saving us would have been enough. And yet, our relentlessly generous Heavenly Father heaps abundant blessings upon us! 

God’s blessings are what I am trying to focus on as I am missing my Mom and Dad at this time of year. Instead of choosing special cards for them, I am choosing special cards for my outstanding in-laws and the spiritual parents in my life. Instead of staying in sadness, I am tapping into gratitude. In this new season of our family life, I am grateful for my best-friend husband and time to rediscover hobbies together and tackle long over-due projects. My “kid-fix” is happening through the children of our church family and pouring into our staff kids. 

Paul penned the words of Philippians from prison. Something about his dismal surroundings and the stark backdrop of this epistle makes it mean something much deeper. If Paul, who was in the isolation and destitution of prison, could say he had learned the secret of being content, maybe I can learn it, too! 
¹ dictionary.com ​

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ABOUT OUR AUTHOR

Jill St. John, once a high school English teacher, is an ordained minister in the Assemblies of God. She serves as Co-Pastor alongside her husband, Jason. For the last 29 years, they have served at Evangel Church in Kansas City: 6 years as youth pastors, 23 years as lead pastors. Jill has a passion for Jesus and a zeal for teaching God’s Word—helping others walk in God’s love and purpose. As a 4-time cancer survivor, she knows the goodness of God through the highs and lows of life and ministry. Jill is an authentic, enthusiastic messenger of God’s joy and hope. Teaching, cooking, gardening, laughing and hanging out with friends, her husband and two young adult kids and kids-in-law are the delights of her life!

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