Refresh Ministry Women
  • Home
    • About
  • Blog
    • Submit a Blog
    • Refresh Writing Team
  • Connect
    • Group Leaders >
      • Gray
      • Hildebrand
      • Taff
  • Breakaway 2023
    • Nonda Houston
  • NWM
    • NWM Monthly Resource
    • NWM Events
  • Lunch & Learn
  • Contact
  • Lunch & Learn

How to Become Slow to Anger

10/25/2016

1 Comment

 
Picture
In the middle of a busy day, I found myself having a mental “conversation” in which I was telling off a member of our congregation. Can you relate? I was angry, defensive and offended over a comment he made. This member was bothered that our pastors were allowed to wolf down a meal at our Wednesday night fellowship supper without paying (before running on to complete a 16-hour day of ministry). He even tried to “Jesus” up his criticism by equating our pastors to the sons of Eli the Bible says cheated God’s people. It was eating me up. A situation that did not even concern me was rattling around in my brain, creating all kinds of unwholesome emotions and distracting me from what was my actual responsibility.

Imagine how costly a lifetime of allowing this kind of mess to accumulate and take root could be.

Over the course of a life devoted to ministry, there are bound to be more than a few perceived offenses. But I’ve learned that allowing them to build up in our hearts can render us bitter, paranoid and ineffective. In the middle of this moment of growing resentment, I was reminded of a proverb that spoke directly to my heart.

“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city” (Proverbs 16:32).

The inner part of us—not our eternal spirit, but our inner individuality of mind, will and emotions—can have a huge impact on both our physical and spiritual well being. Emotions are powerful. They are not sinful in and of themselves. They are merely a response to stimuli. But it’s never good to just let them run wild. This proverb reminds us that this three-fold inner world (mind, will and emotions) can be regulated. This allows us to be able to use our will to rule our emotions and not the other way around. It’s done by surrendering our will to the truth.

The problem is that we don’t always have the truth in file folder number one in our minds. Instead, we keep this relative, subjective, emotional information in the top drawer ready to be perused and mulled over all day, every day. These patterns of dwelling on the negative can become ingrained. The result is weakness, instability and loss of self-control. In other words, it either consumes us from within or propels us into an outburst. Both are counterproductive to our calling.

What is called for is a daily renewal of our minds (Romans 12:1-2). We need to recognize these mental patterns and immediately take them captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). We need to reload file folder number one with information that is true and worthy of our meditations (Philippians 4:8). In other words, take your mental focus off that one knuckle-headed remark, and set it firmly on the truth of God’s Word and what He is doing all around us.

This proverb speaks of “taking a city.” Plowing over a city or a person, even if it is just in your mind, is far inferior to ruling your spirit so that you remain Spirit-filled and accomplish what God has for you. Let’s be reminded of the spiritual discipline of ruling our spirits through renewal of our minds. It will make you more mighty than an army!
​
How do you fight to become slow to anger?

Picture
Lori Frank serves the people of Biltmore Baptist Church in Asheville, North Carolina where her husband of 25 years, Dr. Bruce Frank is Lead Pastor. Lori teaches a weekly women’s Bible Study and offers local group mentoring for pastors’ wives and women in ministry. Lori and Bruce have two sons in college. This blog written on 10/16/16 for Flourish.
1 Comment

How to Facilitate a Small Group Discussion

8/10/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture

For many small-group leaders, one of the more intimidating things we do is facilitating a group discussion. Very few of us feel like we'll have all the right answers, or that we can handle whatever curve balls will be thrown our way (and there will be some!). To make matters worse, it's even challenging to gauge whether we're doing a good job or not.
But here's the good news: that's not what facilitating a group discussion is really about. We don't have to have all of the right answers. We don't have to lead the perfect discussion every time. We don't even have to get through all of the material in each meeting!
When we're facilitating in our small group, our main goal is to create discussion. We want to challenge people to think about the topic at hand, and to create a safe environment for people to share their thoughts—to help everyone feel valued about the input they've offered.
That's all we've got to do. Thankfully, there are some established practices and principles that can help us accomplish those goals.
Asking Good QuestionsOne of the most important skills in small-group facilitation is not having all of the right answers, but asking the right questions. Here are a few secrets to good question-asking:
  • Ask open-ended questions. Avoid the yes/no, true/false, multiple-choice questions—"Is Jesus the sheep or the shepherd in this parable?" Similarly, avoid questions that let people off the hook with a simple Sunday-school answer—"Why did Jesus die on the cross?" You want to ask questions that require people to share some actual thoughts and feelings.
  • Ask follow-up questions. Many people default to staying pretty surface-level with their answers to your questions, so get in the habit of not letting them off the hook. Ask more questions that follow up on their response. Here are some examples of good follow-up questions for the short/simple answers that people often give:
    • What makes you say that?
    • How do you feel about that?
    • How do you think that would've affected you if you had been living in the time of Jesus?
    • How would you explain your answer to a non-Christian friend or neighbor?
The idea is to get at the core of what people are really trying to say...read more


Written by Carter Moss and published at SmallGroups.com, Carter is the Adult Ministry Catalyst for Community Christian Church and NewThing. —Carter Moss; used with permission of Community Christian Church and the NewThing Network, © 2008.
0 Comments

Forgiving Others

7/18/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
Steps to take if you are struggling with unforgiveness:

1. Recognize no one is perfect.
2. Relinquish your right to get even.
3. Respond to the evil with good.
4. Refocus on God's plan for your life.

Taken from Four Steps to Forgiving Others, Pastor Rick's Daily Hope
0 Comments

Be Responsible for Your Own Joy

6/21/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
​No other person is responsible for your joy; you are responsible for that part of your relationship with God. The sooner you own it and quit expecting others to bring you joy, the better off you'll be. 

Taken from How Do I Keep From Feeling Like the Forgotten Partner? by Rodetta Cook for careforpastors.org.
0 Comments

Expand the Circumference of Where You Spend Time

6/16/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture

Excerpt from When You're Not Good at Sharing the Gospel by Lori McDaniel.
If the majority of people in your circle are believers, then you need a bigger circle. Don't succumb to a victim mentality of, "I would if my circumstances were different." Leverage your season of life to intersect with other lives-at the park, lunch break, coffee shop, gym or moms from your child's school.

​No one else will walk the path God designed for you. Steward your unique circle influence with intentional gospel purpose.
0 Comments

Have a Plan

6/8/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
Taken from a devotion from www.crosswalk.com by Lysa TerKeurst, Author ofThe Bathtub is Overflowing but I Feel Drained.
Communicating ahead of time helps us avoid the pitfalls of anger, frustration, and last-minute debates.
 
For example, have a scheduling session with your husband once a quarter to plan out your master family calendar. Then, once each week, sit down together and go over who is responsible for each of the balls being juggled that week.

​Getting the schedule out of your brain and onto a calendar drastically reduces stress and alleviates the feeling that the schedule is running you rather than the other way around. 
0 Comments

Intentional Worship Changes a Thankless Heart

6/1/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
​A thankless heart crumbles under intentional, consistent worship. 

​When you wake up every morning, slip to your knees. Tell Him thank you. Whisper at least one thing that makes you smile.
0 Comments

Rising Above Weariness 

5/24/2016

1 Comment

 
Picture
Renew your weary spirit through time with the Lord.
  • You can wait on the Lord anytime, anywhere.  
  • You can stop internally even as you are busy externally.  
  • You can wait on the Lord in a car, in the supermarket, at the playground, or in a meeting.  
When you feel almost too weary to flap your wings one more time, try "waiting."  Soon you'll be competing with the eagle - and soaring high.

Excerpt taken from Just Between Us Christian Magazine and Ministry.
1 Comment

Self Control

5/3/2016

0 Comments

 
​In what areas do you need to develop for self-control? The disciplines you establish today will determine your success tomorrow.
  • Master your moods
  • Watch your words
  • Restrain your reactions
  • Stick to your schedule
  • Manage your money
  • Maintain your health
Picture

Taken from Pastor Rick's Daily Hope by Rick Warren.
0 Comments

Be Respectful

4/27/2016

0 Comments

 
Have the integrity to be on time, be prepared, and earn trust over the long haul.

Do what you say you will do. Apologize if you are wrong.

Admit when you don’t know.

Never throw away a relationship when people disappoint you or criticize you.

Listen to input from the ground troops.

Care about their needs.

Have some fun with the team.
Picture

Taken from "How to Lead Others Well" by Lori Frank at Flourish.me.
0 Comments
<<Previous
    Picture
    Where do you go to learn about being a minister's wife?

    It is our desire here at Refresh to see that each woman has a positive experience in partnership with their husband in ministry.

    Bloom wants to provide guidance, support, connection, and encouragement to wives new to ministry through a connection with a seasoned and trained minister's wife using a Connect group created specifically for you. We'll use books to guide us in our conversations about the challenges, issues, benefits, and rewards of being a minister's wife.

    We believe when women are strengthen, our families and churches are strengthened, and the ministry of the gospel is strengthened.

    What will I do in a Bloom Group?

    Join Bloom
    Interested in joining a Bloom Group?

    ​
    Let us hear from you. Next group starting April 2018.

    Archives

    April 2018
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    October 2014
    June 2014

    Categories

    All
    Finances
    Leadership
    Married Life
    Ministry
    Personal
    Relationships
    Spiritual Growth
    Teaching Tools
    Technology
    Toolbox Tips

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
    • About
  • Blog
    • Submit a Blog
    • Refresh Writing Team
  • Connect
    • Group Leaders >
      • Gray
      • Hildebrand
      • Taff
  • Breakaway 2023
    • Nonda Houston
  • NWM
    • NWM Monthly Resource
    • NWM Events
  • Lunch & Learn
  • Contact
  • Lunch & Learn