The phrase, “Don’t let the disappointment in a ‘few’ keep you from loving the ‘many’,” comes from a chapter in my book, 10 Things Every Minister’s Wife Needs to Know. In recent days, I’ve gone through a season of disappointment and I’ve had to remind myself of my own words. And unfortunately, I am pretty sure I will find myself there again in the future. You may say, well, that’s just ministry life. But it’s not. It’s everyone’s life, regardless of the occupation of your husband.
Don’t let the disappointment in a ‘few’ keep you from loving the ‘many’.
As minister’s wives, we can be tempted to withdraw or retreat, become bitter, give up, or be resentful of hurts. But when we do that, we end up lonely, isolated, and we miss the blessings of the “many” God has called us to serve and serve with. We sometimes determine in our hearts we will never allow ourselves to be put in that position again – we determine not to be vulnerable or transparent ever again. We tell ourselves it’s not worth the effort or the hurt. Unfortunately, that gets us nowhere in the eyes of others, or most importantly, with the Lord.
Withdraw and Retreat or Honor and Commend
So how are we to respond when we feel that keen disappointment in others? In my recent season, I deliberately decided to respond exactly opposite of how I felt on the inside. Rather than choosing to withdraw (my natural inclination) and retreat, I chose to take advantage of an opportunity to honor and commend others.
Rather than focusing on my personal disappointment, I asked the Lord to show me how I could be an encouragement to others.
What Godly Women Do
As I started to work on overcoming this season of disappointment, the Lord began to give me an actual list of attributes of the women I serve and serve with. This list included attributes from godly women of all ages and circumstances. My list reminded me I am not alone in this battle, and that others walk beside me in ministry life, also fighting the good fight.
This list included:
3 Actions To Take When You Are Disappointed In Others
So what do we do when people disappoint us? This certainly is a reality I would not and cannot deny. I’ve been there too many times as a pastor’s wife and I’m sure I will return there again.
1. Pour out your heart to the Lord.
Above all, I pour out my heart to the Lord. I ask Him to help me not give up. I ask him to help me forgive. I sometimes ask a very trusted friend to pray for me. I seek His Word for help because I know He has the answers better than anyone else.
2. Do something tangible.
In this particular season of disappointment, I did something tangible. I determined to turn my focus from my own personal hurt to honoring and acknowledging some extraordinary women God has placed in my life! Disappointment in others can be very depleting of our energies.Honoring others is refreshing and renews us.
3. Trust God and His Word.
My final words to you who may be going thru a season of hurt or disappointment come from His Word. Trust God and His Word, like these words from Philippians 1:9-11, “This is my prayer for you: that your love will grow more and more; that you will have more knowledge and understanding with your love; that you will see the difference between what is important and what is not and choose what is important; that you will be pure and blameless for the coming of Christ; that your life will be full of the many good works that are produced by Jesus Christ to bring glory and praise to God.” (ERV)
Refuse to become so disappointed in people that it rocks your faith or commitment to Christ. Keep your eyes on Jesus. God will see you through.
Where do you go to learn about being a minister's wife?
It is our desire here at Refresh to see that each woman has a positive experience in partnership with their husband in ministry.
Bloom wants to provide guidance, support, connection, and encouragement to wives new to ministry through a connection with a seasoned and trained minister's wife using a Connect group created specifically for you. We'll use books to guide us in our conversations about the challenges, issues, benefits, and rewards of being a minister's wife.
We believe when women are strengthen, our families and churches are strengthened, and the ministry of the gospel is strengthened.
Interested in joining a Bloom Group?
Let us hear from you. Next group starting April 2018.