by Julie Davenport My two-year-old grandson loves to watch “The Lion King”. His favorite song is “Hakuna Matata,” ¹ and his favorite lyric he likes to boisterously blurt out is, “Oh, the Shame!” We all think it is cute and laugh every time he does it. However, having the weight of shame in your life is no laughing matter. I love the scripture in Psalm 34:5 NLT that says, “Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.” Do you have some shadows of shame lurking in the corners of your heart? We can have shame for something we have done, but we also can have shame for things that have happened to us. There should be no reproach in widowhood or in an unwanted divorce, for example, but we still can feel shame from things we did not even choose. Sometimes we lump guilt and shame together, but guilt is different than shame. Guilt is the position of being accountable for our sins and shortcomings. It is more of a legal term. Jesus has already paid the price for our sins, and our guilt is taken away when we repent. Shame is the process of being defined by our sin and shortcomings or someone else’s sin that has impacted our lives. It is more of an identity of who we are and affects our emotional and mental state. Much of my ministry now is to women like me who have been through trauma, divorce, infidelity, loss, and abuse. There is a theme of shame in almost every story I hear. It is a common feeling we almost all share. How do you get rid of shame?
The Lord wants you to have an abundant life and to enjoy the moments of joy He brings into your path every day. I am praying for you that no shadow of shame darkens your face! “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.” John 10:10 NIV ¹ "Hakuna Matata." Music by Elton John, lyrics by Tim Rice. From the soundtrack of The Lion King, 1994. ² Ann Voskamp, “Shame dies when stories are told in safe places,” Pinterest, https://rb.gy/tmllpw. If one word could depict a life, Julie Davenport’s would be “redemption.” As a child, Julie’s character was forged within a legacy of faith, godliness, and ministry, so when she married a charismatic young pastor on the fast-track to prominence, life was everything she’d dreamed it would be...on the outside. But inside, alone and hidden from view, Julie endured abuse, betrayal, and infidelities that spiraled to include miscarriage, cancer, divorce, mental illness, and eventually suicide. Julie is now an ordained AG minister who through speaking engagements and two daughters continues the legacy of ministry, God is using Julie’s life-story to validate His immeasurable grace and prove His power to redeem what Satan tried so hard to destroy. Learn more of God's redemptive work and order her book Secrets in the Sanctuary on julieedavenport.com.
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by Terry Magness |
Now an ordained AG minister, Terry Magness was once a broken, wounded, angry, and abuse-hardened woman, until God’s redeeming love confronted, delivered, healed, and transformed her life. In 1995, Terry founded Grace Harbour Ministries, a not-for-profit, Biblically based teaching, prayer, and discipleship ministry to women. Through Biblical counseling, coaching, and mentoring, she helps soul- |
wounded women come to know God in a personal way, conquer sin, overcome life challenges, and live Spirit-empowered lives. Throughout her global ministry she has witnessed God’s captive-freeing power at work. Terry has authored two books--Ever Increasing Grace and Azadiah Reynolds: God’s Jamaica Man—and three booklets in her Pocket Scriptures series. She enjoys people, writing, photography, art, nature, and relaxing on the water while fishing with her quick-witted husband, Don, who keeps her laughing. Their amazing children and three priceless granddaughters remind them to be ever thankful for God’s blessings.
Does one ever truly understand the difference between being thankful and being grateful? These two words are similar though different in meaning. Henri Frederic Amiel, a famous German poet and philosopher, stated, “Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude. Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness. Thankfulness may consist merely of words. Gratitude is shown in acts.” The word “completion” stood out to me when I read this. It’s like the icing on the cake that finishes the beauty of the dessert. Gratitude completes the beauty of our thankfulness.
As women in ministry, we often find ourselves trying to be grateful to those around us and set a good example. We may feel it’s important to go the extra mile on occasions by demonstrating our thankful heart. Basically, we can be thankful in our spirit, but when we put action with that thought, it becomes beautiful graciousness.
Sometimes ministry can be challenging. Women become more emotionally drained than their husbands because it’s their nature. We may find it difficult to embrace the thankful heart that God so longs for us to have. Depending on the circumstances, we may find ourselves feeling the opposite of thankful and becoming resentful. This happens when we set our eyes on circumstances rather than the one who can change the circumstances.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Sometimes it’s easy to give ourselves permission NOT to be thankful. We want that “get out of thankfulness” free card. As women, we are naturally more emotional than men. We carry deep feelings for so long and then, like an erupting volcano, we explode with emotions, tears, and words. However, this passage reminds us to give thanks in “all” circumstances. This requires a change of perspective.
When we choose to be thankful for the person who might be making our ministry challenging, we grow spiritually. We change our perspective and see that situation or that person through God’s eyes. He then begins to give us unique and creative ways to turn that new attitude into an outward expression of loving gratitude.
A few years ago, I was really struggling to show gratitude toward one of the leaders in our church. There was an unspoken wall between us, and I just couldn’t do anything to make this person come around. Avoiding her became my goal. I bought into a lie that the enemy planted and found myself pulling away and not even wanting to be in the same room with her. Week after week, I dreaded seeing this person. I finally heard the Holy Spirit say, “Be thankful for her and pray over her.” I found myself becoming more reclusive while at the church or performing my ministerial duties. After a few weeks, I heard the Holy Spirit say it again. “Be thankful for her and pray over her.”
I knew I needed to be obedient, but I struggled because this person had hurt my feelings with her authority and had created a toxic environment to be around. I had covered for her multiple times and took on responsibilities that she was being paid to do. I willingly did these but was treated with disrespect and gossip. The enemy was working to destroy the ministry and we were both feeding into it.
However, I chose to listen and began thinking of things to be thankful for concerning her position and accomplishments in ministry. The Holy Spirit began to reveal to me things going on in her life that not many knew. This woman needed prayers and gratitude, not discontentment or judgement. It wasn’t my place to judge her or stir up more problems for her. This person needed my prayers, my acknowledgement of her past sacrifices, and a thankful, gracious heart. By doing this, it brought potential peace rather than overwhelming chaos.
I began to see her through God’s eyes and began to embrace her vision and goals for the ministry God had birthed through her. Over time, she stepped away and endured some difficult trials in her marriage and family. I continued to pray for her, but also understood that being thankful for the foundation she had laid out for this ministry was crucial. My gratitude would be shown by continuing with a strong team to fulfill that vision.
It takes a thankful heart to work in the kingdom. We’re told multiple times to give thanks to the Lord for He is good. Psalm 100:4 says, “Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.” We know that being thankful and grateful are key components to existing in the kingdom of God, and we know working in the ministries of the kingdom requires a thankful heart despite the challenges.
Turning our thankful thoughts into acts of gratitude is very rewarding. As women, we can use our sensitive emotions God has given us to see and feel things around other people. We can take those thankful thoughts and turn them into acts of gratitude. This can be done with words of affirmation, cards, letters, gifts, or random acts of kindness. The important thing is to put action to thankful thoughts. This makes these two words take on a different meaning. As Amiel stated, “Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness.”
As women in ministry, we can use our position of leadership to show others how these two similar, but different words, can be effectively demonstrated. Be aware of the enemy and his schemes to thwart relationships in your ministry. Turning your thoughts of thankfulness into acts of gratitude can be instrumental in making your leadership respected and well-received by others. Never underestimate the power of a thankful heart.
While this place is full of great memories, it has been a season that is about to change. In just three days we will say goodbye to this place. I sat here this morning praying that the Lord would help me correctly process my emotions.
I was reminded of the Sunday afternoon that followed taking my first-born son to college. I honestly thought I would choke to death that day before as I said those brave goodbyes in the dorm, while my son was giving me the eye that let me know I better not break down in front of is new friends.
It was the next day as I lay across his bed in his old bedroom, knowing he would never live under my roof again, that I began to process the change of season. I didn’t want to live in sadness, so I let the tears flow, while I remembered all the amazing memories we had made together so far in his life. I had to let go and treasure those moments to release him into his next.
Now as I look back 19 years later, I see the beauty in his next seasons. He has a successful clinical pharmacy career, a beautiful wife, and two amazing children. A reminder that life is full of seasons!
Goodbyes and last times can be challenging for our human emotions, but that famous verse found in Ecclesiastes says, “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven” (3:1 NLT). Instead, we should try to focus on the new beginnings, on the firsts, and on the exciting next God has planned for us.
Sadly, many never experience God’s best for their lives because they are stuck in the past--both past failures and past victories. We can’t live our lives too focused on the rear-view mirror. When we use it appropriately, it provides us with some perception and caution, but our vision must be forward focused.
If you find yourself in a busy or difficult season in your life right now, don’t necessarily wish it away. You will never have this moment again. Stop and ask yourself, “What does God want me to do with this season?” He uses our best and worst times for a purpose…if we will just allow Him to do so. I pray God will bless you during your current season and help you to experience His best plan for your life!
Now as I began unearthing the final items, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Carefully wrapped in layers of brown paper was a tiny Pillsbury Doughboy® holding a pumpkin. What? I laughed some more. Could these be...? Are they...? YES! As I continued to unroll the paper, Pillsbury Doughboy® figurines in varying poses began to emerge. PBDB holding a heart. PBDB waving a flag. Even PBDB sporting a green vest for St. Patrick’s Day. Twelve of these gems in all.
"Carefully wrapped in layers of brown paper was a tiny Pillsbury Doughboy®..."
Off to my right, a pile of decos from our lives in Africa and Israel needed a place to go. How could I mesh Shabbat candlesticks, a Beja sword, and PBDB into a cohesive look that the Property Brothers would like? I stood in the center of it all and sighed. This was a summation of my life displayed in decos.
Yes, I still like the Pillsbury Doughboy® figurines. Why? I don’t know if I’ll ever have an answer to that question. But I also like the candlesticks and the sword. They all represent places I’ve lived and the dear people with whom I’ve shared life. They represent the person I’ve become since Pam Version 2008 first packed her house.
I’m not sure where these will all end up in our home, but they each will have a place. Upon visits, our neighbors may find it weird or eccentric, but I’m okay with that. We’ll call them conversation starters and see where it goes. The Lord has helped us through many (and I mean many!) moves. Some were voluntary and some were not. We had seasons that were warm and inviting like the Shabbat candlesticks and some that were sharp and gutting like the Beja sword. Yet, I can’t mention one without the other, because I discovered different facets of the Lord’s care through the days and the nights of the soul. I’m grateful, and our home will reflect all of it.
And the Pillsbury Doughboy®? Well…he gets a spot, because at the end of the day, who doesn’t want to dress up for a holiday and eat a warm biscuit?
It was a mature tree—a survivor—when the man bought his place nearly forty years ago. Somehow it had escaped the Dutch Elm disease that ravaged its way through the elm tree population in this country.
He knew the tree was special. He carefully removed clothesline stakes and nails that had been hammered into its trunk, tended its wounds, then carefully shaped and fertilized his beloved Elm. In his care for the tree, he became quite attached to it. The birds and squirrels loved to play in its branches. It was beautiful and provided refreshing shade in the summer.
The man built his home and landscaped, giving his tree a place of honor. Although surrounded on three sides by sidewalk and driveway, his elm continued to grow. Its mighty roots tunneled under these formidable barriers—lifting and breaking the slabs of concrete like crackers and slicing through the asphalt as if it were warm cheese. Its heightened boughs rested upon the roof of his house, bending the gutter and filling it with leaves. When the winds blew, limbs and branches fell, strewing his beautiful lawn and flower garden with debris.
The man saw the carnage his special tree had wrecked and was sad. He was torn by two choices: cut the tree down and repair the damage or allow the tree to continue to grow and pursue its devastating course.
God the Father was faced with the same choices as the man with the unruly Elm tree. Israel, whom He has loved and treasured as His own since Abraham, became a wild tree—a prideful and rebellious people. Like many of us, they grew outside the parameters He had established for their wellbeing. They refused to listen to God’s wisdom and instructions. They chose instead their own path. God had to make the hard choice to cut them off from His protective care. His great desire was that the ensuing trials and heartaches they would suffer would prompt them to change direction. Just as when a prideful, rebellious son finds himself on a path of incalculable hardship and sorrow, true parental love will do whatever it takes to turn him around.
Our Father’s foremost concern is reconciliation and restoration. Likewise, we cannot afford to be afraid, but must bravely take firm but loving action where sin is involved. Yes, it can be a tough choice to make, but genuine love calls for selflessness that realizes the issue is not whether someone will become angry with us--maybe quit the church, avoid us at work, or perhaps think we are a mean mom. It is really not about us! With our children, this is the consideration: what sort of an adult am I raising? How am I helping to cultivate character in those around me? Am I encouraging growth in a positive direction in others?
Do we love enough to allow the people we care for to suffer the consequences of their choices, so they are given the opportunity of seeing their need for God? Do we love enough to set proper boundaries and parameters? Do we think in terms of what we will lose in the process, or do we consider instead what they can gain--what is truly best for those in our sphere of influence?
Tough love may seem harsh initially; but if done with the same purpose and compassion of Christ, it can yield the delicious fruit of righteousness. Yes, the old stump will die, but you can celebrate and rejoice because hope lies ahead—Jesus is the resurrection and life: "At least there is hope for a tree. If it is cut down, it will sprout again, and its new shoots will not fail. Its roots may grow old in the ground and its stump die in the soil, yet at the scent of water it will bud and put forth shoots like a plant.” --Job 14:7-9 NIV
God’s choice purpose for Israel was a change of heart in the people, so he could help them grow and could bless them: “I will heal their waywardness and love them freely, for my anger has turned away from them. I will be like the dew to Israel; he will blossom like a lily. Like a cedar of Lebanon he will send down his roots; his young shoots will grow. His splendor will be like an olive tree, his fragrance like a cedar of Lebanon. People will dwell again in his shade.” --Hosea 14:4-7 NIV
Make hay while the sun shines.
The early bird gets the worm.
Any job worth doing
is a job worth doing right.
On our family farm, my dad grew alfalfa that made hay for the sheep. As he waited for the alfalfa to grow, he was preparing all of the equipment to be ready for the harvest.
It reminds me of James 5:7: "Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains." (NIV, emphasis added)
See how the farmer waits. I know firsthand how farmers wait. They wait for the frost of winter to give way to the warmth of spring. They wait for the ground to be pliable enough to sow the seed. They wait for the seed to germinate, sprout, root, and grow, developing the crop to be harvested. In the waiting, they are not sitting around twiddling their thumbs. They are not biding the time for the corn to be waist-high by the 4th of July. To see how a farmer waits is to see how a farmer is always working. Even in the waiting, they are always tending what they are growing and preparing for the harvest. They know the crop is growing, even if it does not look like it. They know the tractors and equipment will need to be ready to go. Farmers are active in the waiting.
In the field of ministry, we are often in the position of waiting and can take cues from this passage. Waiting like a farmer might be identifying an incredible young woman of God who needs time to develop and mature before she is ready for greater responsibility. Instead of waiting for her to mature and be ready, I can invite her to join me in what I am doing for Jesus. I do not have it all figured out, but over my years in ministry, God has taught me things that might be helpful to pass on to her; e.g., lessons I’ve learned the hard way, as well as books and podcasts that I find helpful for perspective and spiritual development.
Waiting like a farmer might be waiting for a loved one to surrender to Jesus. Instead of being frustrated and exasperated in waiting for them to come to Jesus, I can implement a strategic prayer plan. I pray in faith, trusting that God is doing a work even if I cannot see it. Here is a simple daily rhythm I use in praying for those I am waiting to come to Jesus:
For those I’m waiting to come to Jesus
MONDAY: Mind
Protection & Softness to God
TUESDAY: Timing of God
WEDNESDAY: Work
Their job & the Work of God
THURSDAY: Thirst for Jesus
FRIDAY: Friends
That the Lord will put Godly people in their lives
SATURDAY/SUNDAY: Sometime Soon
They will be in church worshiping God
Let’s make the most of the time God gives us each day, even when we are in a waiting season. "So let's not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don't give up or quit." (Galatians 6:9 The Message)
If my Dad had waited for the crops to be perfectly ripe before he fired up the tractor, he would not have been ready for the harvest. If he had waited to prepare the harvest equipment, he would have been late for the harvest and maybe missed it altogether.
See how the farmer waits; he is actively preparing for the harvest. May the Lord help us work while we are in the waiting, led and empowered by the Holy Spirit to be ready for a great harvest!
Unfortunately, that is not what happened. Our spring temps dipped below freezing and the wind was fierce on this particular day. We knew our mama cow was close and we checked on her often. However, this day required a short, quick trip into town; by the time we returned, we had a dead calf and a mourning mama. To say we were devastated would be an understatement. |
It felt a lot like ministry. The hard work. The investment. The dedication. The anticipation. The hope of seeing all of that hard work pay off. When things don’t work out, we feel the disappointment, the regret. We ponder the "what ifs" and the "if onlys."
We question our ability. We question our efforts. Was it worth it? Did we just waste our time? Will anything good come out of this season?
The strength to keep investing, keep working, keep loving what we do is challenged. But the Call to Serve is still strong. The Call to Love still beats within our chest. The lack of success at the moment is met with the hope for a new day, a new season, and a chance to try again.
My husband and I are non-traditional church planters. We started with a desire to pastor and the blessing of a small building but nothing else. No money. No staff. No mother church.
It has been a slow and steady progression of “success” for ten years, but this past year, a setback. A dead calf if you will. Everything we were building and working towards seemed threatened as we experienced our first church split. A reason to mourn. A reason to question ourselves. Are we bad pastors? Could we have prevented this? What did we do wrong? The feeling that we are starting over is real and present. The reality of continuing to work hard is true. We continue to dedicate ourselves to the church and to the people but also knowing there will be a delay in seeing the fruit of our labor.
Today on the farm,
a live calf was born
to another
first-time mama
in our pasture.
A reason to rejoice!
~~~~~~~~~~
“Where is her faith?”
“She has lost her joy. I feel kind of sorry for her, but I never know what to say when she talks about her grief.”
“It’s like she is a different person.”
Sometimes I am that person--the one with whom nobody knows quite what to do. They kind of hope I don’t talk about suffering today, because it’s an uncomfortable topic. However, it seems like almost every conversation leads to it at some point.
Having joy—living a life of joy—does not necessarily mean laughing all the time and being the life of the party. Speaking of suffering does not necessarily mean a person is filled with depression and gloom.
The question is, "How am I going to live out the rest of my life while I am here on Planet Earth?" I want to be a living example of life, love, and hope, and at the same time, point people to Christ. God had a purpose for me the day before Jessica died; and He had the same purpose for me the day after she died. My life circumstances are entirely different now than they were then. However, my purpose is the same--to love the Lord my God with all my heart, mind, strength, and soul, and to love my neighbor as myself (Mark 12:29-31). The opportunities each day may look different, but the purpose is the same. It’s not about me, but about what I do with those opportunities.
Did I ever think the death of my daughter would be an opportunity to share about the love and hope of Christ? Nope. And it’s certainly not an opportunity I wanted. But here it is. Our suffering may not feel good, but does that make it bad? None of us are Job, but as that wise man said, “Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him.” (Job 13:15 ESV) And thousands of years later, we read the story of his great faith in the ultimate goodness of God.
If you can relate to this, or if you are struggling with this, I pray for the peace of God to wash over you. There will still be hard days, but be comforted in this, “For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort, too.” (2 Corinthians 1:5 ESV).
The moment came when we thought we’d found the one. The house was absolutely stunning! It had recently been updated, and the smell of fresh paint filled every room. The kitchen had large cabinets and a center island. Each room on the first floor from the dining area to the living room, kitchen, and family room were encapsulated all around with big, beautiful windows where natural light filled the rooms to create an open and airy ambiance.
We decided to put an offer on the home and to get an inspection.
The laundry list of issues with this house was unbelievable, because it was aesthetically beautiful. The necessary repairs would be thousands of dollars, and we didn’t have thousands of dollars to sink into a house, so we backed out of the contract.
Often, it is the same with us. We look absolutely stunning on the outside, yet on the inside, we have cracks in our soul and are wreaking of bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness.
We all have moments we struggle with forgiveness. That’s the reason Jesus talked about it so much in the gospels. The Lord never made forgiveness a conditional act. He doesn’t tell us to forgive if this or if that. The Word declares we must forgive others for their trespasses against us. Forgiveness should be granted without condition and limitation. We constantly need to be forgiven, and we constantly need to extend forgiveness to others. Luke 6:37 ESV says, “Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
Lord, I choose to forgive and release
for .
I forgive myself for the mistakes I’ve made.
I receive your grace and forgiveness.
In Jesus Name. Amen.
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