Can Discipline Make You Happier?

Discipline...sometimes I cringe when I hear that word. In some ways it  comes across negative to me: hard work, restriction, sacrifice, failure. But deep down I know discipline is good for me, especially if I'm the one imposing it upon myself. I'm just not good at it.

This is one definition of discipline from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary:
     1a : control gained by enforcing obedience or order
       b : orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior
       c : self-control

Photo by Taylor Smith on Unsplash

Basically, we're talking about creating habits in our life. It seems that it's easy to create bad habits. Ever try to stop yourself from eating ice cream when you're sad? But good habits can be hard to create; it takes time, self-control, and determination. Remember hearing it takes 21-days to create a habit? Well, now they say that's a myth. Science now says it takes anywhere between 18 days and 8.5 months. Can it get any harder!
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In her Propelwomen.org article, Building a Better Life Through the Power of Discipline, Hannah Brencher says,

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It’s said that discipline leads to freedom, and I fully believe that now. When you learn to take care of yourself and order your tasks, your mind gets freed up. You're able to love people better and experience more peace.

Is it true that taking control of yourself, disciplining yourself in things you know are good for you, in things that you want for yourself, can make you happier? God's Word says yes!

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11

I also know from personal experience that when I succeed in creating a good habit in my life or breaking a bad habit, it brings an overall good feeling of well-being, accomplishment, and happiness. For example, several years ago I took on the Whole 30 challenge. It was hard, but in the end I found out what was causing me to feel unwell...dairy...and I kicked a years-long habit of using Sweet 'n Low. Just that one thing alone, taking artificial sweetener out of my life, has made me feel like I accomplished a good thing and I am living a healthier life.

So, if disciplining myself is such a good thing, why is it so hard? I think it's hard for me because I'm weak and selfish - most of the time. I'm busy, distracted, and tired. When do I have time to add 'habit-making' to my agenda, let alone finding the energy to implement it? I don't think it's as hard as I make it out to be. Those excuses just might be my mechanism to justify not putting forth the effort.

But there are ways to make this habit-making or goal-making easier. Hannah Brencher suggests steps to start adding good and better habits to our lives:

I was recently having coffee with a girl about setting monthly goals. We were talking about how we love setting goals for the month and she told me that, for some unknown reason, she wasn’t nailing any of her goals. When she elaborated, I pointed out that her goals were really extreme. These goals were asking her to completely stop living one way and make a hard left turn in in the opposite direction.

It’s not bad to make these sorts of goals or believe we could become the sort of people who rise at 5, run by 7, eat kale at 9, and then tackle the to-do list like a boss. But you won’t become that person overnight. There will likely be a lot of stopping and starting along the way.

Here are 4 steps you can take to start setting better habits today: This girl had some extreme goals but they were all-or-nothing. If she failed one (never mind 3 of them) she was bound to give up and feel unworthy of reaching these goals. I prompted her to write down smaller goals that would allow her to scale up to the big ones. Sometimes we need stepping stones between who we are and who we want to become. Getting there is worth it. Becoming a better version of ourselves is always worth the fight.
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1. Buddy up. Discipline can be hard if you start on the path alone. It’s hard to be the loudest cheerleader on your own team. One of the biggest lies I needed to overcome in my young adult life is the one that wants me to believe I should try to do it all on my own. We have people in our corner for a reason. We are allowed to call on them and ask for help. When it comes to 5am hours, my friend Kim and I text each other each morning. We send each other a selfie first thing in the morning (no makeup or filters) as a way to say, “I’m up. I’m tired. But I’m ready.” People keep us accountable and push us to limits we didn’t know were possible. We can do some cool things solo but I always find the impact is greater when we let other people in. Taking on this journey with other  people has made all the difference.

2. Stay rooted in your “why”. I think this might be the key to balancing between discipline and legalism. I’m very familiar with legalism when it comes to setting life goals. Legalism would be the voice inside of me that tells me I must be perfect, must never falter, and will squash all my progress if I mess up once.  I have to step back and ask myself: What is driving me? Why am I on this road to become more disciplined? Ultimately discipline leads to freedom. I want to be someone who experiences that freedom! When my “why” is rooted in love instead of fear, I am more successful and feel more capable.

3. Set manageable goals. Yes, you should have reach goals. You should have those big goals that you want to work up to but every big goal is really just a bunch of small goals strung together. Start micro. Begin with running a mile or getting into the gym twice a week. The goals might seem puny at first, and you may be tempted to take on more, but habits take time to build. Give yourself permission to be in process and loving who that process is turning you into.

4. Kill your inner perfectionist. The goal is progress, not perfection. The other day, my trainer asked me to track my afternoon run. She gave me a goal. She told me how to tackle it. And then she told me to send her the results. Mind you, I am not a runner at heart. I can run but it definitely doesn’t come easy to me. As I was running, I was worried about the results. I was worried about reporting back to her and coming back as “less than” she expected. This attitude will ruin me if I allow it. The goal is not to master things on the first try, it’s to push myself to a new level. If I cannot appreciate the hard growth, I will never see the real progress happening.

5. Teach with your life. This year I don’t have a verse for my life, I have an entire chapter. The entire chapter of 1 Timothy 4 is how I hope to live and live loud. One of my favorite aspects of this chapter is this idea of teaching with your life. Translation: Don’t talk loudly about how good your life is, live it and see if people notice the difference. We live in a world where people talk loudly about progress, change, goals and transformation. But I want to be a doer, not a talker. I want there to be evidence. This isn’t a race or a competition.
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So, what's keeping you from creating some good habits in your life? You know you've thought about it. Whether it's drinking more water, quitting artificial sweetener, reading the Bible in a year, or you name it, adding a good habit or deleting a bad habit in your life is good for you. And God's Word tells us we all have the power.

"For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7

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Read full article written by Hannah Brencher for Propelwomen.org here. This article written by Lisa Harris for Refresh Ministry Women.

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