It was about 2 a.m., January 5, 2011, when I suddenly awoke from a deep sleep. My heart was beating rapidly and my chest pounding. I struggled to breath. Thinking I must be having a heart attack, my husband called 911. Not ready to die at the young age of 48, I succumbed to the not-so-thrilling ambulance ride to the hospital. Tests were run, after which the doctor declared my heart was fine. I was suffering from anxiety. I was on overload from just having come through a busy holiday schedule. Not having a real Christmas break, I was back in school teaching full time, serving as our church's worship leader, being mama to teenage daughters, a pastor’s wife, and having our daughter and her family of four living with us for a couple of months. This episode of panic was only one of many, but launched me into a season of questioning my faith; Was I really God's child? I was fearful of losing my salvation and furthermore began seeking the Lord like no other time in my life. I found myself needing to be in the His presence. I craved it, yearned for it, and sought it with my entire being. Waking in the night (abnormal for me) or in the early-morning hours, I would make my way to my reading chair with my Bible, the book, Sparkling Gems from the Greek by Rick Renner, and my journal. It was on these daily occasions where God’s Word would come to life and I would record the specific and precious whispers of His never-ending love for me. From this journal, I would like to share with you, this week and in the next four blogposts, how God restored me through His Word. I share, not for my own glory (no glory here!) but for three reasons: 1) to be obedient to the Lord; 2) to give God glory for His grace and mercy in my life; and 3) to give hope to any woman who is possibly going through a similar trial. January 11, 2011 5:00 A.M. “As I wrestle with the anxiety that seems to have slipped upon me, God once again has proven Himself faithful through His Word. Restless, I turn to God this morning. Rising from my bed, I seek comfort through His Word, (turning) to Isaiah 43:18 and following. I had read this passage earlier, but had failed to write it down. Now, God reminds me of what He has already spoken. ‘Forget not the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. The wild animals honor me, the jackals, and the owls, because I provide water in the desert and streams in the wasteland, to give drink to my people, my chosen, the people I formed for myself that they may proclaim My praise.’ Isaiah 42:18-21..." The relevance of this passage to me was the fact that I was struggling with a mismanaged life; one that was out of balance physically, spiritually, socially, and emotionally. I was on overload. Yet, God was giving me the opportunity to see Him, experience Him, and to know Him like never before. He was doing “a new thing" in me. Are you stressed out, worn out, and desiring a slower-paced year than last? Are you ready to put some things behind you? While a new year does not change our circumstances, it can and should be a time to reflect on how we have managed God's directives for our lives. A new year gives us the opportunity to allow God to do "a new thing" in each of us. Meet me here next Monday, as I continue sharing my story (which is really His story). Vicki Miller and her husband, Don, have been in full-time ministry, together, for more than 33 years. They have four daughters, three sons-in-law, and three grandsons who keep their lives full of joy and laughter. Having been a pastor's wife to the same congregation for more than 25 years, Vicki now enjoys ministering alongside her husband as they serve their district's ministers and their spouses. Traveling is a shared interest between them. Encouraging ministry wives in their unique role and their walk with Jesus is a passion of Vicki's. After serving Jesus most of her life, she says, "I am still amazed at the grace and goodness of God and I pray that I never get over it." For fun, she likes to read and work on DIY projects, but especially loves spending time with family and friends. Would you like to attend Refresh Breakaway 2018 for FREE?
Comment on this blog post. That's it! You're now entered to win a Refresh Breakaway 2018 package valued at $99 (includes registration, lodging and three meals). Each time you comment on a weekly blog post, your name will be entered into the drawing. Please give your full name when commenting. Drawing ends January 31, 2018. A winner will be announced February 1, 2018 and notified by email by February 5, 2018. So, come on! We'd love to hear from you and see you at Refresh Breakaway 2018!
30 Comments
Rachelle Colegrove
1/1/2018 09:53:15 am
Thanks so much for sharing your story.
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Vicki
1/1/2018 10:26:39 am
Rachelle, you are welcome! Grateful for what God has done for me. Congratulations! You have been entered in the Refresh Breakaway 2018 drawing.
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Margaret Burnash
1/1/2018 10:57:13 am
I sure appreciate your honesty. I can identify with so much of this!
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Vicki
1/1/2018 11:08:03 am
Margaret, you are welcome! It’s easy, as women in ministry, to go through life as if we have it all together. God can accomplish so much more when we are honest with ourselves and with others. Congratulations! You have been entered in the Refresh Breakaway 2018 drawing.
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Michaela Claspill
1/1/2018 11:09:17 am
Thank you for being obedient to opening up about this. I think we try so hard to be everything for everyone and forget that sometimes we are really nothing at the same time. I look forward to the rest if this serious.
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Vicki
1/1/2018 11:39:19 am
Michaela, you are welcome. I agree—and without Him we are nothing!
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Melinda Moss
1/1/2018 11:48:58 am
Thank you for sharing your past experience.
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Vicki
1/1/2018 09:37:00 pm
Melinda, you are very welcome! I pray it blesses many. Congratulations! You have been entered in the Refresh Breakaway 2018 drawing.
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1/1/2018 12:34:30 pm
Thank you so much for sharing. I am definitely looking for God to do a new thing in my life this year!!!
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Vicki
1/1/2018 09:43:41 pm
Brenda, you are welcome. I believe that God loves an expectant heart! Congratulations! You have been entered in the Refresh Breakaway 2018 drawing.
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Sara Keleher
1/1/2018 01:37:22 pm
I love that God pushed you to seek Him thought His Word! As we start each new year, we tend to make goals for things WE want to do or accomplish, but the most important thing we can do is to seek Him daily to be our strength, guide, and direction for each day.
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Vicki
1/1/2018 09:40:04 pm
Sara, it’s true that we often want our agenda to be God’s rather than seeking what His agenda is for us. As women of God, we must remember that nothing can replace our time with Him. Congratulations! You have been entered in the Refresh Breakaway 2018 drawing.
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Nora Ross
1/1/2018 02:52:39 pm
Thank you for sharing. This is great writing and that’s from an English teacher!
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Vicki
1/1/2018 09:38:38 pm
Nora, thank you so much! I take that as a compliment coming from my friend the English teacher. Congratulations! You have been entered in the Refresh Breakaway 2018 drawing.
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Brooke Bradshaw
1/1/2018 08:03:24 pm
Thanks for sharing, Ms. Vicki. I do at times feel caught up in the flow and the need to prioritize/reorder some major areas. Looking forward to reading next week too.
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Vicki
1/1/2018 09:37:50 pm
Brooke, you are very welcome! It’s easy for all of us to get caught up in the busyness of life, isn’t it. I’m looking forward to next week, as well. Congratulations! You have been entered in the Refresh Breakaway 2018 drawing.
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Peggy Davis
1/2/2018 12:09:10 am
Couldn't sleep, got up to turn on the tv, saw my phone decided to get on fb when I saw your post. I decided to read it instead of watching tv, glad I did. Thanks for posting! God bless!
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Vicki
1/2/2018 02:06:22 pm
Also, Congratulations! You have been entered in the Refresh Breakaway 2018 drawing
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Vicki
1/2/2018 11:43:21 am
Peggy, God know just what we need--when we need it! I'm grateful it ministered to you. God bless you, too!
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Marilyn Pulis
1/2/2018 01:50:35 pm
I appreciate your sharing your experience and the longing you had to feel His Presence in a closer way!
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Vicki
1/2/2018 02:05:46 pm
Thank you, Marilyn! There's nothing that compares to His Presence! Congratulations! You have been entered in the Refresh Breakaway 2018 drawing.
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Sue Harper
1/7/2018 08:09:50 am
So looking forward to Refresh 2018
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Sarah Childs
1/7/2018 06:07:35 pm
I can relate to you! My word for this year is "New". This is the exact Scripture that guides that! Love your honesty, even coming from a place of ministry and leadership.
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Sally Miller
1/8/2018 01:44:07 am
I've been going through similar bouts with anxiety and sleeplessness. It is a comfort for me to see your blog and read this story. I'm looking forward to the continuation.
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Rita Rippee
1/11/2018 01:28:27 pm
The Bible tells us to take captive every thought and bring it into obedience of Him. That is, of course, easier said than done. But I've found if I make a conscious effort of doing that, things go much better for me. That being said, there are still times when we all need the love, encouragement and help of others to get us to the point where we can manage on our own--with the help of Christ!!
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Vicki
2/1/2018 10:24:44 am
Rita, a spiritual truth we can apply everyday to our lives. As you, I am grateful that God also put people in our lives to help us in our walk with Christ. Thank you for sharing! Congratulations! You have been entered into the Breakawy 2018 drawing.
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Paula Porter
1/15/2018 09:13:06 am
I’m jumping in on your Story 3 weeks in to 2018. I’ve been working on God’s “new thing” for my life since 2014. When I read your post I had to go to my bookshelf to retrieve the “Gems” book a dear sister in the faith had given to me at the beginning of my journey. I believe it is time to start using it in my daily time with God ⚓️
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Vicki
1/15/2018 07:15:17 pm
I would love to hear your story! Shortly into this season of my life, a neighbor who had been attending our church called me up. I really only knew her as an acquaintance. She was letting me know that she felt compelled to order the "Sparkling Gems..." book for me and was having it delivered to my house. It was the strangest thing, yet I believe it was a Spirit-led thing. She had no idea what I was going through. Congratulations! You have been entered in the Refresh Breakaway 2018 drawing.
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Sally Miller
1/19/2018 06:00:33 pm
God is doing a new thing in me. I have sensed it for some time now. At this moment I am in a huge emotional and mental fog. I am already relating to this season of your life. I know God will use this to help me.
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Vicki
1/20/2018 12:52:00 pm
Sally, I’m so glad God is using my story to encourage your heart. I’m praying that you will cling to the truths from His Word and, “Stand firm ... in the liberty by which Christ has made [you] free. Congratulations! You’ve been entered into the drawing for Breakaway 2018
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