Oh, the Shame!

by Julie Davenport

My two-year-old grandson loves to watch “The Lion King”. His favorite song is “Hakuna Matata,” ¹ and his favorite lyric he likes to boisterously blurt out is, “Oh, the Shame!” We all think it is cute and laugh every time he does it. However, having the weight of shame in your life is no laughing matter. 
 
I love the scripture in Psalm 34:5 NLT that says, “Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.” 
 
Do you have some shadows of shame lurking in the corners of your heart? We can have shame for something we have done, but we also can have shame for things that have happened to us. 
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Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.

​You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

 Isaiah 54:4 NIV

by Zanuck, from Getty Images

​​There should be no reproach in widowhood or in an unwanted divorce, for example, but we still can feel shame from things we did not even choose. 
 
Sometimes we lump guilt and shame together, but guilt is different than shame. Guilt is the position of being accountable for our sins and shortcomings. It is more of a legal term. Jesus has already paid the price for our sins, and our guilt is taken away when we repent. Shame is the process of being defined by our sin and shortcomings or someone else’s sin that has impacted our lives. It is more of an identity of who we are and affects our emotional and mental state. 
 
Much of my ministry now is to women like me who have been through trauma, divorce, infidelity, loss, and abuse. There is a theme of shame in almost every story I hear. It is a common feeling we almost all share. ​

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How do you get rid of shame?

1. ​LOOK TO THE LORD FOR HELP  - "To you they cried out and were saved; in you they trusted and were not put to shame." Psalm 22:5 NIV
   
   We can live under a veil of shame, but it is not placed on us by the Lord. He wants us to have freedom from shame. When He died on the cross, the veil in the temple was torn in two. We can come boldly into His presence. 
   
   “But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:16-18 NIV 
    
2. LIVE IN COMMUNITY -  I recently saw a quote from Ann Voskamp: “Shame dies when stories are told in safe places.” ²  
   
   We need others around us who “get us,” who understand and listen to us with grace and truth. 
   
   I remember being in Africa on a safari and the guide telling us to stay on the big jeep with everyone as we came uncomfortably close to a pride of lions. He told us that as long as we stayed together on the jeep, the lions would look at us as one big object and leave us alone. He also told us if we got off the jeep alone, we might just become lunch for one of the lions. 
   
   The enemy wants us to feel alone and isolated. Even if you have been hurt by a person, community, or a church, keep looking until you find a safe place. A feeling of safety can be one of the greatest components of healing from past hurt and trauma. 
    
3. LAUGH AT THE FUTURE  - “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” Proverbs 31:25 NLT 
   
   The enemy wants you to look away from the Lord, but when you look to Him you can face the coming days without fear and with increasing joy. 
   
   Back to our “Hakuna Matata” song... This phrase in Swahili means “no trouble” or “no worries.” I would like to add “no shame.” 
   
   ​Don’t let Satan steal your joy because of past hurts and shame! ​

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The Lord wants you to have an abundant life and to enjoy the moments of joy He brings into your path every day. I am praying for you that no shadow of shame darkens your face! 
 
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.” John 10:10 NIV ​

     ​¹ "Hakuna Matata." Music by Elton John, lyrics by Tim Rice. From the soundtrack of The Lion King, 1994. 
​     ²  Ann Voskamp, “Shame dies when stories are told in safe places,” Pinterest, https://rb.gy/tmllpw.​

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If one word could depict a life, Julie Davenport’s would be “redemption.” As a child, Julie’s character was forged within a legacy of faith, godliness, and ministry, so when she married a charismatic young pastor on the fast-track to prominence, life was everything she’d dreamed it would be...on the outside. But inside, alone and hidden from view, Julie endured abuse, betrayal, and infidelities that spiraled to include miscarriage, cancer, divorce, mental illness, and eventually suicide. Julie is now an ordained AG minister who through speaking engagements and two daughters continues the legacy of ministry, God is using Julie’s life-story to validate His immeasurable grace and prove His power to redeem what Satan tried so hard to destroy. Learn more of God's redemptive work and order her book Secrets in the Sanctuary on julieedavenport.com.

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