Snagging the Pass Through - Guarding Yourself Against Burnout

1/21/2018

Before I ever experienced jet lag I would hear people talk about it and thought they just meant they were really, really tired. What was the big deal? (insert eye roll here) Then I went to Europe for the first time and came home tired.

I didn't know how tired until I face planted in my lunch the next day. I dragged myself to the car, having to concentrate lifting my foot as high as the curb. I kept my eyes open long enough to crawl in my car, and I slept for two hours in a crowded parking lot. I realized jet lag was more than tired. This was beyond my control!

Burnout is much the same. I think of burnout this way…there's a dark recess of your mind that is the end of you. The bottom of the rope, the last step before the cliff, that moment just before you fall asleep...the end. That place is a different spot for different people. Some people have a deeper reserve and can take much more of what life can throw at them. Others have a shorter fuse and reach their spot of depletion sooner. Either way, burnout takes you to a tired that sleep doesn't fix.
I found that dark recess in my mind I didn't know existed until now. Burnout. I feel stupid and weak admitting I was there. The lack of admission was part of the reason I got there. Because I feel stupid and weak admitting I have this breaking point, and I let my actions and the actions of others break me.

Being in ministry means being about people.

Honestly, I like helping people. I don't say that to make myself seem all humble and servant-like. If you know me, you know servanthood does not come naturally to me. Being bossy on the other hand does come naturally to me. I like helping people realize stuff. I am addicted to that moment when a girl sitting in front of me has the realization she can walk in total freedom from the past bad choices she has made. Or that moment when my husband and I are working through marriage problems with another couple, and they realize sticking it out is far more rewarding than being a quitter. There's no drug or alcoholic beverage that tops the exhilaration of seeing someone turn around and change their behavior for the better. I'm addicted. I admit it. I love seeing people be happy and work out their problems and I LOVE that I get to lead people to God's Word and watch their lives unfold.

There is this turning point, though, when you are in the business of helping people, that often times you start taking in information only to pass it back out. You hear a great sermon, a wonderful song, a cool quote, and you think "I could use that in a blog post. I need to tell my pastor wife friend about this podcast. I need to share this book with my friend who needs to hear this. I need to livestream the sermon so this other person can hear it who is at home with a sick child." And before you know it, everything you take in is getting passed right through you to other people. Even your morning devotions become note-taking sessions for others. Nothing is sticking, nothing is getting snagged for YOU!

...before you know it, everything you take in is getting passed right through you to other people.

During this season of burnout and comeback, we took a sabbatical for three weeks. My husband Jack and I went to a different church one weekend. We wanted to go some place we could just go in and sit down and go to church. We haven't done that in something like 14 years. It was an amazing feeling. I had forgotten how much I love God's Church and His people. Now keep in mind, I was reading the book, "Leadership Pain" by Sam Chand while I was on sabbatical. Guess what the whole sermon was about that morning? You guessed it. Leadership pain.

God definitely had something for me that morning, but instantly I started the pass through. I thought of my friend who needed to hear a certain quote. I thought of all the people I knew who I wanted to hear this sermon. It was an incredible message. But I was in the middle of the pass-through, thinking of all the people I could minister to from this sermon when God so sweetly showed me...maybe it's just you who needs the ministry right now. He showed me how it was alright to let these words from Bishop Walker at Mt. Zion resonate with me, and only me, for that moment. Tears filled my eyes and I allowed myself for the next hour to just sit and soak it all in. I did not want to miss one moment God had for me. I stopped the pass-through and I snagged every morsel taking notes as quickly as my thumbs could type.
It truly was a wonderful feeling. So many of us in ministry want to see our church family succeed. We deeply want the best for them, so we get in this state of pass-through, not retaining any of the wisdom and knowledge we hear from others to teach us, lead us, and help us grow. We eventually become empty; nothing more than a slot machine. Put in a quarter, pull the lever, out comes the advice.

It's okay to keep the pass-throughs going. But take time to snag some for yourself. Or better yet, snag the whole thing for yourself; let it steep for a while; then continue the pass-through. I challenge all my pastor friends, counselor friends, pastor's wife friends to notice how often you go into pass-through mode. The next time you realize it, stop and think about what you're hearing or reading and how it can apply to YOUR life first, and you will take a step in guarding yourself against burnout.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

What is your opinion of the author's 'pass-through' theory?
If you have experienced burnout, what were the root causes?
How important is it to guard ourselves against burnout?
What are some ways we can be pro-active against burnout?

This blog by Sheila Harper was posted on Dec 11, 2017 at Sanctuaryministrywives.com. Sheila and her husband, Jack, have been in full-time ministry at SaveOne since 2000. The couple planted a church in 2007, so Sheila has been a pastor’s wife for 10 years. Sheila and Jack have two sons, ages 27 & 29. "Neither are married, but I am looking for wives for them so I will be one step closer to having grandchildren," quips Sheila. When asked what shaped her ministry philosophy, Sheila answered, "Pain. Plain and simple. I started SaveOne from a place of wanting to make sure others didn’t experience the same pain I did after an abortion. I wanted everyone to know the truth of what abortion really does to you." As far as the church, "what shaped my ministry philosophy was realizing, if I’m not healthy I could derail my husband’s ministry. As a pastor’s wife I am possibly the most vulnerable in the whole church. I have to take time for soul care, and the whole church remains healthier because of it." Sheila enjoys "hiking, drinking coffee, hiking, reading, hiking, hanging in my hammock in the woods, and hiking" when she comes across some free time. Sheila's greatest passion in ministry comes from seeing people be transformed from the inside out. "When a person walks in and doesn’t know Jesus, gives his/her heart to Him, lets themselves be discipled, and their life start to come together….I don’t know of a greater joy than that."

24 Comments

Tracy Hildebrand

1/22/2018 08:50:30 am

The “pass-through” is an easy place to get to. We forget that we need some of what we read, or hear. I like the thought of taking it in letting it steep a while see how it can apply to my life then pass it on. If we do this then we will have our story to add to it, and it may have more of an impact on the people we want to pass it on to

Vicki

1/26/2018 04:33:31 pm

Tracy, I think it shows wisdom to do as you shared. While we should benefit from what comes our way, there are others who can glean from “the pass-through”. Congratulations! You have been entered in the drawing for Breakaway 2018.

Rachelle Colegrove

1/22/2018 08:54:47 am

I can completely relate to the feeling of "tired that sleep doesn't fix" and the "high of helping" as a counselor. I feel the Lord calling me to a season of rest. I'm honestly anxious as I have taken steps to make more margin in my life but uncertain of the future.

1/26/2018 04:40:19 pm

Rachelle, thank you for your transparency! It’s so important to listen to what our bodies and the Holy Spirit are speaking to us. When you are a constant source of resource to others, no doubt, there comes a time when rest is necessary. Praying for God’s peace as you face this “unknown” season. Congratulations! You have been entered in the drawing for Breakaway 2018.

Paula Porter

1/22/2018 09:10:04 am

Thanks for identifying what I often do- the “pass through” principle. I’m in a season of “steeping” and God will provide the opportunities to share and serve, after He works in me.

1/27/2018 08:51:59 pm

Paula, thank you for sharing with us where you are in this season of “steeping.” Praying you will be renewed, refreshed and filled to overflowing with His Spirit as you spend time in His Presence. Congratulations! You have been entered into the drawing for Breakaway 2018.

Angie Loughridge

1/22/2018 10:20:31 am

Great article! I think that as pastors, we have a hard time “turning off” this pass through because we are ultimately on call 24/7. It is so easy to be in work mode at all times, and it takes deliberate action to take time off, and simply be a family and a woman who needs to hear from God for herself.

I am challenged by this message, not to clog up the pass through, but to linger there, apply it to my life and to pray for God to give me opportunities to share with others, adding a bit of how it has applied on a personal level much like Tracy stated above.

Burn out is real, and when we realize that we need to STAY refreshed, not just be refreshed...we will be healthier and more effective for His Kingdom.

1/27/2018 08:56:44 pm

Angie, so beautifully stated! Thank you for sharing insights of which we can all glean. “Lingering” and “not clogging the pass through” are words that so appropriately describe our being refreshed in His Presence and , yet, still used to minister to others. Congratulations! You have been entered in the drawing for Breakaway 2018.

Brianna Jerman

1/22/2018 10:24:06 am

I loved how the "pass through" principle was expressed. I find myself in that position, wanting to pour out so much when sometimes I think God is just saying "This is for YOU!"

1/27/2018 09:13:34 pm

Brianna, it’s only natural (or should be) that as women in ministry we desire to give of ourselves: our time, our resources, etc. Grateful for the reminders to slow down and savor what God is speaking to us in the moment. Congratulations! Your name has been entered into the drawing for Breakaway 2018.

Sandra Poole

1/22/2018 11:30:16 am

Oh, wow! This is absolutely me!

1/27/2018 09:16:13 pm

Sandra, Isn’t it amazing when we can so quickly identify ourselves through another person’s experience? Praying you can find a place to soak in His Presence and gather everything He has for you. Congratulations! Your name has been entered into the drawing for Breakaway 2018.

Cari Hurst

1/22/2018 08:22:48 pm

I love this. Honest and raw and real. I can totally relate to the “pass-throughs” during many years of ministry and many times where I was so spiritually, physically and mentally drained it felt like constant jet-lag. So grateful for the refresh and re-charge times and for people in my life who challenged me to say no, set boundaries, and practice self-care. Thanks for this post.

1/27/2018 09:18:12 pm

Cari, Thank you for your honesty and sharing how God has taught you how to prevent future burnout. Beautifully written! Congratulations! Your name has been entered into the drawing for Breakaway 2018.

Michaela Claspill

1/22/2018 09:25:06 pm

Thank you for reminding me of the need to slow down and savor those things I am passing along. I know I don't always take care of me and what I need, which is how we as women operate - nurturing.

1/27/2018 09:08:18 pm

Michaela, we are happy to pass along important information that serves as reminders of what we know to do, but often fail to do. Our desire is to help others avoid the errors that some have made by sharing their stories. Congratulations! You have been entered into the drawing for Breakaway 2018.

Rita Rippee

1/26/2018 11:53:11 am

I think many of us have experienced burnout at one time or another in our years of ministry. We often find ourselves so busy pouring into others and neglecting too often to fill ourselves back up by spending the time in the World it takes. After awhile we're all poured out with nothing left to give. It's hard to be in that place and admit we need help ourselves, which is why we often wait too long. But thank God for His healing power and others He's brought to come alongside to help minister just what is needed in our time of need!!

1/27/2018 09:05:50 pm

Thank you for sharing! It’s sad that many people in ministry have experienced burnout at some point in their lifetime. Being mindful of the very things that can lead to it is a very important part of it not happening. I’m reminded of the scripture in Galatians, “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” Congratulations! Your name has been entered into the drawing for Breakaway 2018.

Rita

1/27/2018 09:22:06 pm

Rita, it’s a great reminder that when we are pouring into others, we must be filling ourselves with God’s Word. Yes, grateful for His healing power that is able to revive, refresh, and restore us. Thank you for sharing. Congratulations! You have been entered into the drawing for Breakaway 2018.

1/26/2018 11:55:48 am

*Word not world

Majetta Morris

1/26/2018 02:13:17 pm

I so relate! I have had to make myself stop the "passing through" and "snag the relevant to me." It's like a serving line: you keep feeding and passing the plates to others, and you are starving yourself. Recently I learned my body was in starvation mode because I did not eat enough. The same can happen to our spiritual body because we don't feed it enough.
Thanks, Sheila Harper for the wakeup call.

1/27/2018 09:09:39 pm

Thank you, Majetta! What a great visual! Will have to remember that one. Congratulations! Your name has been entered into the drawing for Breakaway 2018.

Alisha Harding

1/29/2018 01:12:40 am

I've never thought of the "pass thru" method as a symptom of burn out, but I can definitely understand how it is a red flag. Consistently taking others' pieces of wisdom to pass on instead of being able to seek the Lord for His divine wisdom to apply in their/my situation reveals an issue for sure.

1/29/2018 02:16:40 pm

Alisha, I can certainly stand with you in saying that I had never considered the “pass through” as a symptom of burnout, either. The word that comes to my mind is complacency. Could it be that “complacency” and “burnout” are synonymous? Congratulations! You have been entered into the drawing for Breakaway 2018.